do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
