I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
