Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
