Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
