When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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