So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I've blown a few things in my day
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize