You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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