I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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