it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
