just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
