PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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