Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
