Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
