do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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