im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
there is glitter all over my balls
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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