It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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