But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize