you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
