we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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