so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
