whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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