He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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