Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
