Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
