i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
