If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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