If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
As shirtless as possible
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
