Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
