this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
