I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
