was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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