Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize