I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Drake has all the answers
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
