There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize