he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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