White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
