GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
