No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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