theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
