if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
