dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
