shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
