so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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