he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize