I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
