i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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