only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
