This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
