i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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