Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
