12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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