Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
