Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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