She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
