he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize