Pappa wants mamma naked
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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