I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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