yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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