it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
