Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
