The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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