Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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