you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
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