she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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