So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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