I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this just has baby written all over it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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