Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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