Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
