How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
