I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
