Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
