so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she smelled like a LAN party
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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