Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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