I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize