giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
