Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
