You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
