just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
