I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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