i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
pray to the hookup gods
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
