So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
