So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
