Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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